If you've kept up on Facebook, you'll know that my mom was told by the world-experts at Johns Hopkins that they think she has enough of a chance of being cured to hold off on the very risky bone marrow transplant.
I have a lot of thoughts about such tremendous news, but it's finals week. So here are so fragments to bide everyone over. I've interspersed them with unfiltered pictures of the Colorado sunset the day after the meeting at Hopkins
My Aunt and Uncle took me to a small fast food chain the weekend after the bone marrow transplant was taken off the table. I realized that the last time I had eaten there was on Day 1 of my mom's migraine. We were unsure when she would be feeling better, but were holding out for lunch. When that looked unlikely, we ate in the hotel lobby. The path to health took a lot longer than we thought, but I guess we've gotten there somehow.
When I hear the song "Shake it Off," I think of my first afternoon on the VCU oncology floor. Sunlight was streaming through the huge window and doctors were unsure which woman was the cancer patient. My mom would laugh and say "That's because I still have all my hair!"
It's wonderful to return to the relative optimism of that moment even if I'm more cautious now.
I rang in 2012 in the best way possible. I was surrounded by some of my closest friends having a fabulous time in Georgetown. Inside jokes abounded and I had so much hope for the new year of the dragon (my birth year!!)
I hope no one is offended when I say that, in many ways, this year has been throughly hellish. I'm not even sure how I got through the wave after wave of bad news this summer. Friends and family were heading the the hospital week after week while I had to keep up a cheerful and professional demeanor for my students. Meanwhile, I was feeling very sullen and isolated from people; every unreturned email or plea for advice/ sympathy stung more than it should have
But in so many years the sweetness of 2012 will leave a more lasting impression than the bitterness. I made a ton of new friends whose companionship has meant more during this maelstrom than I can say (though hopefully I will be able to communicate it during this period of calm). People's little Facebook messages absolutely made my day. What can I even say about people like Abigail who checked up on me constantly, Mike and Josh who gave me that awesome day in DC, the WMS girls who were always down to Skype, Lizbeth who let me vent about cancer all the time (even though I wish our bitching had happened under other circumstances), Cloe who balanced compassion with lots of awesome TV shows, Tori who HELPED ME MOVE TWICE, Geoff who spackled my walls instead of watching football, or Andrea who has become nothing less than family?
Then there's Chris... who never gave up hope of comforting me even in my darkest moments. It's no small pressure to be a person's only source of support within thousands of miles and I will forever be grateful for the amazing understanding I found in him.
That being said, I have never been MORE prepared to turn over a new leaf and start a new year
My Aunt and I are hoping this affair behind us. Looking forward to a more happy and healthy 2013!
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